For students starting secondary school (ages 11–13)
Part of the Positive School Culture Project — sharing research to help students, teachers, and schools create better experiences of starting secondary school.
Starting secondary school can feel exciting, but it can also feel uncertain. Some students quickly feel comfortable in their new school, while others take longer to find their place.
In the first post in this guide, we explored how students help shape school culture through everyday actions. This post looks at something closely connected to that idea: belonging.
When people talk about starting secondary school, they often say something like: 'Don’t worry, you’ll make new friends'. Many students worry about whether they will make friends or feel like they belong when they start secondary school.
Friendship is important. Having people to talk to, sit with, or laugh with during the day can make school feel much more comfortable.
Key ideas
- Belonging is not only about having friends.
- It grows over time when people notice you, include you, and recognise you.
But research into students’ experiences of starting secondary school shows that belonging is not exactly the same thing as having friends.
Belonging is a little more than that, and students can experience it in different ways. Some may feel settled quite quickly, while others take longer to feel recognised or included. This means that even in the same school, belonging can develop differently for different students.
When students were asked what helped them feel like they belonged at school, many talked about moments when people noticed them, listened to their ideas, or included them in everyday activities.
It includes friendships, but it also includes something else: feeling recognised and accepted as part of the school community.
This means that having friends is one part of belonging, but it is not the whole story.
One student, who missed a school trip because they were unwell, described how important shared experiences with friends can feel when starting secondary school:
'My friends had a chance to make memories and get experience together… I’ll never get that chance back'.
— Year 7 student reflecting on starting secondary school
Moments like this help explain why belonging often develops through shared experiences over time.
For example, a student might have a few friends but still sometimes feel like they are on the edge of things — unsure where they fit, or whether people really notice them.
Another student might not have close friends at school yet, or might only want a small number of friendships. Even so, they can still feel that they are known, respected, and welcome in their school community — although for some students this can take longer to develop.
This is why it can help to think about three slightly different things that are sometimes confused with each other:
Friendship
Friends are the people you spend time with, talk to, and trust. Friendships grow through shared experiences — lessons, clubs, jokes, and everyday conversations.
Popularity
Popularity usually means being widely known or noticed by lots of people. Sometimes people think popularity means belonging. But many students who are popular still feel pressure to act in certain ways or worry about what others think.
Belonging
Belonging is the feeling that you are accepted as part of the community. It means feeling that you matter, that people recognise who you are, and that there is a place for you in the life of the school.
Belonging grows through lots of small interactions over time — not just one big moment.
It can happen when someone remembers your name, when a teacher notices your effort, when classmates listen to your ideas, or when people include you in activities.
And just like school culture more broadly, belonging is something that people help create together.
Students contribute to it when they include others, notice when someone is left out, or show interest in the ideas and talents of the people around them. Sometimes this might be as simple as inviting someone to sit with you, listening to someone’s idea in class, or making space for someone new in a group.
Teachers contribute to it when they learn students’ names, recognise effort, and create classrooms where everyone has a chance to take part.
Over time, these everyday moments begin to shape how school feels.
This does not mean belonging always happens immediately. Feeling like you belong in your new school can take time, and it can develop at different speeds for different students. People are meeting new classmates, figuring out routines, and discovering where they feel comfortable. For many students, it develops gradually over the first weeks and months.
Understanding that belonging is about more than popularity or having a large group of friends can help students see school in a different way.
Belonging grows through recognition, respect, and shared experiences. As this happens, students also begin to understand how they fit into the life of the school.
For many students, feeling recognised is one of the first signs that they are beginning to belong.
These experiences are especially important during the Year 7 transition, when students are still getting to know their new school and the people around them.
And when students and adults create those small moments day after day — even if they don’t happen all the time or don’t happen straight away for everyone — school can become a place where people feel recognised, respected, and part of something larger than themselves — which is often what belonging really means.
Comments are not enabled on this page. This is to help keep this space safe for students. The ideas shared here are based on research with students, and your experiences matter. If something here connects with you, you might choose to talk about it with a teacher, parent, carer, or someone you trust.
This guide explores students’ experiences of starting secondary school and developing a sense of belonging during the Year 7 transition.
The Starting Secondary School Guide:
- You Shape School More Than You Think
Why Belonging Is Not Just About Having Friends
What If You Don’t Feel Like You Fit In (Yet)
Why Some Lessons Feel Easier to Speak In
Why Schools Have Rules — And Why They Sometimes Feel Hard
Why School Feels Different For Different People